Question

9．隨著揚(yáng)州經(jīng)濟(jì)的發(fā)展，私家車的數(shù)量不斷攀升，同時(shí)我們的空氣污染越發(fā)嚴(yán)重．去年冬天霧霾（the thick haze）天氣接二連三出現(xiàn)，生活環(huán)境日趨惡化．就此，你班展開討論美麗揚(yáng)州應(yīng)該從何做起．請根據(jù)下面提示寫一篇短文，向報(bào)社投稿．

揚(yáng)州現(xiàn)狀	美麗揚(yáng)州從我做起	未來展望
=1．車輛越來越多 =2．空氣越來越差 =3．…	=1．出門坐公交 =2．… =3．…	=1．水更清，天更藍(lán) =2．… =3．…．

要求：1）表達(dá)清楚，語法正確，上下連貫；
2）必須包括所有相關(guān)信息，并作適當(dāng)發(fā)揮；
3）詞數(shù)：100詞左右（開頭已給出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)）；
4）不得使用真實(shí)姓名、校名和地名．
With the development of Yangzhou，more and more families have cars．However，the environment of our city is becoming worse and worse．Last winter，we experienced several days of the worst air pollution in history．And many people got sick because of the polluted air．
As the student of this ancient city，we should take actions to beautify our hometown．We can take buses to go out； we can ask our relatives not to drive cars as often as possible．What's more，we can call on the whole society to plant more trees．
If each of us tries our best to protect our environment，I believe we will enjoy bluer sky and cleaner rivers．Yangzhou will be more suitable and comfortable to live in．．

Answer 1

分析 這是一篇圖表作文．內(nèi)容是說說揚(yáng)州的環(huán)境現(xiàn)狀以及怎樣從我做起保護(hù)環(huán)境．時(shí)態(tài)主要為一般過去時(shí)和一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)．人稱主要為第一、三人稱．
寫作思路：考生需要首先審清主題，圍繞主題展開作文．
其次考生可從以下幾個(gè)方面展開作文，即本文的寫作要點(diǎn)：
1．揚(yáng)州現(xiàn)狀；車輛越來越多；空氣越來越差
2．從我做起；出門坐公交…
3．未來展望；水更清，天更藍(lán)…
常用到的重點(diǎn)短語：
比較級+and+比較級 越來越…
because of 因?yàn)椤?br />take action to do sth 采取行動(dòng)做某事
as…as possible 盡可能…
what's more 再者
try one's best to do sth 盡力做某事
【高分句型】
1．And many people got sick because of the polluted air．
because of 因?yàn)椤璷f是介詞，后加名詞代詞或動(dòng)名詞．
2．①What's more，we can call on the whole society ②to plant more trees．
①what's more 再者
②動(dòng)詞不定式作為目的狀語
3．①If each of us ②tries our best to protect our environment，I believe③we will enjoy bluer sky and cleaner rivers．
①if引導(dǎo)條件狀語從句，遵循主將從現(xiàn)的規(guī)則．
②try one's best to do sth 盡力做某事
③believe后是省略了引導(dǎo)詞that的賓語從句．

解答 With the development of Yangzhou，more and more families have cars．However，the environment of our city is becoming worse and worse．Last winter，we experienced several days of the worst air pollution in history．And many people got sick because of the polluted air．【高分句型】（揚(yáng)州現(xiàn)狀；車輛越來越多；空氣越來越差）
As the student of this ancient city，we should take actions to beautify our hometown．We can take buses to go out； we can ask our relatives not to drive cars as often as possible．What's more，we can call on the whole society to plant more trees．【高分句型】（從我做起；出門坐公交．植樹）
If each of us tries our best to protect our environment，I believe we will enjoy bluer sky and cleaner rivers．【高分句型】Yangzhou will be more suitable and comfortable to live in．（未來展望；水更清，天更藍(lán)）

點(diǎn)評 這是一篇給材料作文．題目中給出的材料較為簡略，動(dòng)筆前應(yīng)根據(jù)材料內(nèi)容組織語言，列出簡單提綱，確定句子的時(shí)態(tài)、句式、關(guān)鍵單詞等問題．注意不要遺漏要點(diǎn)，可適當(dāng)發(fā)揮．結(jié)合材料可知本文主要是第一人稱，時(shí)態(tài)一般應(yīng)該用一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)，注意情態(tài)動(dòng)詞后面動(dòng)詞用原形．為了使表達(dá)更有邏輯性，可以使用序數(shù)詞，連接詞等．此類作文首先要做的就是認(rèn)真閱讀材料，不能跑題偏題．寫作中注意一些基礎(chǔ)的寫作常識，不犯低級錯(cuò)誤．只要平時(shí)積累足夠，就一定能獲得滿意的分?jǐn)?shù)．
文中使用了一些短語也使用了一些主從復(fù)合句，為文章增色不少．如With the development of 隨著…的發(fā)展；because of因?yàn)�；take actions采取行動(dòng)．Try one's best to do sth盡最大努力做某事；If each of us tries our best to protect our environment，I believe we will enjoy bluer sky and cleaner rivers．如果我們每個(gè)人都努力保護(hù)我們的環(huán)境，我相信我們會(huì)享受更藍(lán)的天空和清潔的河流．等等．