現(xiàn)象 | |||
弊端 | 1.…影響和家人與朋友的關(guān)系(relationship) 2.…可能增加交通事故的危險 3.…對健康有害,不利于學(xué)習(xí)和工作 | ||
觀點 | 事實上,面對面交流更加便利并勝過網(wǎng)上聊天.手機(jī)對于現(xiàn)代生活確實有幫助且極為重要,但是要正確利用手機(jī),從而成為健康的使用者而不要成為低頭族. |
分析 本文要求按圖表提示,以"Refuse to be phubbers"為題作文.短文重點是兩個方面,一是現(xiàn)象與弊端:揭示現(xiàn)代人用手機(jī)的惡習(xí)及其產(chǎn)生的危害;二是觀點與方式:告訴人們怎樣正確的使用手機(jī),利用好這個現(xiàn)代的通訊工具.短文主要用一般現(xiàn)在時態(tài).第三人稱或第一稱形式.
高分句型:
①Some children want to play with smart-phones before sleeping.在睡覺之前,一些孩子想玩手機(jī).句子中want to do sth想做某事,后面跟to引導(dǎo)的不定式短語;play with玩,玩耍,后面跟名詞或者代詞.
②In fact,face-to-face conversations are much more conventient and better than chatting on line by phone.事實上,面對面交流更加便利并勝過網(wǎng)上聊天.句子中in fact事實上,實際上,face-to-face 面對面,much more conventient 更加方便,much修飾比較級more conventient;on line 在網(wǎng)上.
解答 Refuse to be phubbers
With the development of the Internet,smart-phones are widely used among people.Phubbers can be seen here and there.(低頭族phubbers社會現(xiàn)象的出現(xiàn))
Some family members play with their smart-phones while eating with families instead of talking with them.It has effects on the relationship between them.Some people look at their smart-phones while walking even riding or driving.It may increase the danger of causing traffic accidents.Some children want to play with smart-phones before sleeping.(高分句型) It's bad for their health and their study.(低頭族現(xiàn)象的弊端)
In fact,face-to-face conversations are much more conventient and better than chatting on line by phone.Mobile phones are helpful and necessary tools for modern life.But we should make good use of it to be"healthy"users rather than Phubbers.(怎樣正確地使用好手機(jī).)
點評 短文首先結(jié)合現(xiàn)代人使用手機(jī)的現(xiàn)象,說明了人們使用手機(jī)給生活帶來的危害,接著告訴人們怎樣正確地使用好手機(jī).條理分明,層次清楚.短文包含了提綱的所有信息,語句通順,意思連貫.文中用了while doing,instead of,rather than等等結(jié)構(gòu),給短文增色不少.
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