Question

【題目】書面表達(dá)（30）

假如你是李華，你的筆友Jim最近沉溺于玩電腦游戲，為此你很擔(dān)心。請根據(jù)下表提示給Jim 寫一封信，談?wù)勀愕目捶�及建議。

Jim 過去	功課好，積極參加學(xué)校的各項(xiàng)活動。
Jim 現(xiàn)在	對學(xué)習(xí)沒興趣，上課不專心，不按時交作業(yè)。
你的看法	玩電腦游戲可能使你放松，但……
你的建議	（至少發(fā)揮兩點(diǎn)）

要求：1．詞數(shù)80左右。2．要點(diǎn)完整，層次清楚，語法正確。

Dear Jim,

I really feel worried about you．

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

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Yours

Li Hua

Answer 1

【答案】

Dear Jim,

I really feel worried about you. You used to do well in your lessons and took an active part in the activities at school. But now you are so crazy about computer games that you have no interest in your schoolwork and don't listen to the teachers as carefully as before in class.Also, you can't hand in your homework on time. Perhaps playing computer games can make you feel relaxed, but if you spend too much time on it, you will have less time to study. And it may do harm to your health. For example, it can hurt your eyes and neck.

I hope you should achieve a balance between your schoolwork and your hobbies. Why not join in some outdoor activities when you feel bored?As your friend, I'll be glad to share your happiness and sadness.

Best wishes.

Yours,

Li Hua

【解析】

試題分析：這是一篇材料作文，要求寫一封信，向吉姆提出建議。本文已經(jīng)給出了主要寫作要點(diǎn)，動筆前要先認(rèn)真閱讀要點(diǎn)，然后圍繞要點(diǎn)適當(dāng)發(fā)揮。寫作中，應(yīng)注意描述的全面性，盡量將提示的內(nèi)容利用上；結(jié)合材料內(nèi)容，可知本文主要是第一、第二人稱，運(yùn)用一般過去及現(xiàn)在時態(tài)進(jìn)行敘述。語言的表述應(yīng)該符合語法的結(jié)構(gòu)，造句應(yīng)該符合英語的表達(dá)習(xí)慣。適當(dāng)使用連詞，做到上下文聯(lián)系緊密，符合邏輯關(guān)系。

【亮點(diǎn)說明】這篇短文涵蓋了題目要求的所有要點(diǎn)內(nèi)容，表達(dá)準(zhǔn)確，意思連貫，符合邏輯。在文章的結(jié)構(gòu)組織上很好地使用了簡單句和復(fù)合句，文章脈絡(luò)清晰，自然流暢。同時，文章還使用了一些常用的句式和短語，如used to sth過去常常做某事；takepart in參加；as…as…和…一樣；hand in上交；on time按時；do harm to傷害；why not do sth為什么不做某事等。這為文章增色不少。在學(xué)習(xí)中注意積累，牢記一些常用句式及短語，寫作時就可以適當(dāng)引用，使文章的表達(dá)更有邏輯性，更富有條理，讓文章更出彩。