Question

17．假設(shè)你是李雷，昨天你參與了學(xué)校值日．請寫一封信向校長匯報(bào)你值日時(shí)的所見所聞，并提出改進(jìn)建議．要點(diǎn)如下：

值日見聞	1、校園不整潔，有學(xué)生亂扔垃圾，亂涂亂畫，摘花，踩草坪； 2、有學(xué)生吃垃圾食品，課后大聲喧嘩，互相打鬧，離開教室時(shí)忘記關(guān)燈； 3、考生自擬1-2點(diǎn)校園不文明行為．
建   議	考生自擬至少兩點(diǎn)．

要求：1、可以適當(dāng)發(fā)揮，信中不得出現(xiàn)真實(shí)姓名和學(xué)校名稱；
2、語言通順，意思連貫，條理清楚，書寫規(guī)范；
3、詞數(shù)：80詞左右．書信的開頭和結(jié)尾已經(jīng)給出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)．
Dear Headmaster，
I was on duty yesterday．                  ．
Sincerely，
Li Lei．

Answer 1

分析 這是一篇圖表作文．內(nèi)容是寫一封信向校長匯報(bào)你值日時(shí)的所見所聞，并提出改進(jìn)建議，注意信件的格式．時(shí)態(tài)主要為一般過去時(shí)．人稱主要為第一，三人稱．
寫作思路：考生需要首先審清主題，圍繞主題展開作文．
其次考生可從以下幾個(gè)方面展開作文，即本文的寫作要點(diǎn)：
1．值日見聞；1）校園不整潔，有學(xué)生亂扔垃圾，亂涂亂畫，摘花，踩草坪；
2）有學(xué)生吃垃圾食品，課后大聲喧嘩，互相打鬧，離開教室時(shí)忘記關(guān)燈；
3）考生自擬1-2點(diǎn)校園不文明行為．
2．建   議（至少兩點(diǎn)）
常用到的重點(diǎn)短語：
fight with sb 與某人打架
turn off 關(guān)掉
what's more 再者
care about 關(guān)心
【高分句型】
1．I also found that some girls walked on the grass and picked flowers．
that 引導(dǎo)的賓語從句，作為found的賓語．
2．After school，some students forgot to turn off the lights when leaving the classroom
when leaving the classroom是when they leave the classroom的縮寫．
3．I think we should make rules to change the situation and care about the environment，then our school will become more beautiful．
think后是省略了that的賓語從句．

解答 Dear Headmaster，
    I was on duty yesterday．Now I'm writing to tell you that the school was untidy．Some students threw rubbish everywhere．Some students drew on the wall．I also found that some girls walked on the grass and picked flowers．（校園不整潔，有學(xué)生亂扔垃圾，亂涂亂畫，摘花，踩草坪）【高分句型】During break time many students ate too much junk food．Many boys spoke quite loudly and fought with each other．After school，some students forgot to turn off the lights when leaving the classroom（有學(xué)生吃垃圾食品，課后大聲喧嘩，互相打鬧，離開教室時(shí)忘記關(guān)燈）．【高分句型】What's more，a few students even rode their bicycles on the playground．（操場上騎自行車）I think we should make rules to change the situation and care about the environment，then our school will become more beautiful．【高分句型】（我的建議）
Sincerely，
                                                          Li Lei

點(diǎn)評 本題是一篇圖表作文，圖表作為書面表達(dá)的一種信息提示方式，比提綱作文線索顯得更簡潔明了，寫作時(shí)也容易區(qū)分表達(dá)，本題在寫作時(shí)，要特別注意幾種情況的描述，不能逐句翻譯，同時(shí)要根據(jù)提示有效靈活的構(gòu)思，恰當(dāng)使用邏輯詞語，讓文章顯得有條理，不雜亂．