Question

16．根據(jù)新規(guī)，上海高中生必須在畢業(yè)前完成至少60小時(shí)的志愿者實(shí)踐活動(dòng) （public service practice），這項(xiàng)政策引發(fā)了人們的熱議．有人抱怨60小時(shí)太長，占用了學(xué)生的學(xué)習(xí)時(shí)間；也有人認(rèn)為志愿者實(shí)踐活動(dòng)是有意義的，有助于培養(yǎng)學(xué)生社會(huì)責(zé)任感．對(duì)此，你的看法如何？請寫一篇120-150 詞左右的文章表達(dá)你的觀點(diǎn)．
（注意：文章中不得出現(xiàn)本人真實(shí)的姓名與學(xué)校）

Answer 1

分析 高分句型
句型一：
So sometimes there are obstacles that stop students from putting their enthusiasm into practice①，and students can't choose the pubic service they like to do②．
因此，有時(shí)遇到阻止學(xué)生將他們的熱情付諸實(shí)踐的障礙，學(xué)生便不能選擇他們喜歡做的公共服務(wù)了．
①為定語從句；先行詞obstacles在后面的從句中作主語，故用關(guān)系代詞that引導(dǎo)該從句．②為省略了關(guān)系代詞的賓語從句，由于先行詞the pubic service在從句中作賓語，故可以省略關(guān)系代詞that/which．
句型二：
If students haven't reached the set time，teachers will criticize them and force them to do service practice at a set place，which made students unhappy and angry①．
如果學(xué)生們沒有達(dá)到規(guī)定的時(shí)間，老師就會(huì)批評(píng)他們，并強(qiáng)迫他們到一個(gè)指定的地方去做服務(wù)實(shí)踐活動(dòng)，這會(huì)使得學(xué)生們感到不高興和憤怒．
本句為條件狀語從句，其主句①為非限定性的定語從句，用來補(bǔ)充說明新規(guī)的實(shí)施會(huì)帶來的后果．

解答 Recently，there is a hot topic that Shanghai high school students must accomplish at least 60 class hours of public service practice which is a prerequisite for graduation．This policy has triggered a wide discussion and various reactions．Different people have different opinions．Personally speaking，this policy isn't good to students．（針對(duì)新規(guī)，提出了自己的看法；即提出論點(diǎn)．）
First of all，students may be refused in a pubic service project．One of my classmates said that a group of students once appied for volunteer positions in a library and were refused．The library gave them the volunteer certificates directly and dismissed them．So sometimes there are obstacles that stop students from putting their enthusiasm into practice，and students can't choose the pubic service they like to do．【高分句型一】It seems that under some circumstances，high school students pubic service becomes a mere formality．（舉實(shí)例論證了學(xué)生們并不被一些公共服務(wù)部門所接受，高中生的公共服務(wù)也只是流于形式．）
Besides，the motive of the policy is to make students more engaged in social practice，but the goal is hard to achieve as long as the whole education system remains unchanged．Students have a lot of homework to do，and at weekends，most students will go to tutorial centers to have supplementary place．I think the time set of 60 hours is too long．It will even take up some of students'study time，so it is time-consuming．（結(jié)合現(xiàn)在的教育體制以及學(xué)生們學(xué)習(xí)非常緊張的現(xiàn)狀，論證了該項(xiàng)新規(guī)并不能達(dá)到其預(yù)期的目標(biāo)．）
Last but no the least，the policy results in the comparison between schools．Some schools compare their students'total hours of pubic service practice with other school．If students haven't reached the set time，teachers will criticize them and force them to do service practice at a set place，which made students unhappy and angry．【高分句型二】．（從新規(guī)的實(shí)施可能會(huì)引發(fā)的后果論證了它會(huì)使得學(xué)生們的社會(huì)實(shí)踐活動(dòng)失去本來的意義．）
In conclusion，public service is a meaningful thing only if students do it voluntarily instead of being forced． So students should finish their study first，and then do the public service practice in their spare time．（得出結(jié)論：只有當(dāng)學(xué)生自愿而不是在被強(qiáng)迫的情況下，公共服務(wù)才是一件有意義的事情．因此，學(xué)生應(yīng)該首先完成學(xué)業(yè)，然后利用業(yè)余時(shí)間再去從事社會(huì)實(shí)踐活動(dòng)．）

點(diǎn)評(píng) 首先應(yīng)注意議論文寫作的三個(gè)要素：1、提出論點(diǎn)；2、組織論據(jù)，進(jìn)行論證；3、得出結(jié)論； 其次，除了學(xué)會(huì)套用一些常用的句型和短語外，還需要根據(jù)題目的具體內(nèi)容和要求，靈活地選用句式；另外，根據(jù)句子語氣的需要，可在英語句中適當(dāng)?shù)卦黾右恍┣閼B(tài)動(dòng)詞"should/can/may/had better/must"，以及句與句之間合理使用一些并列、遞進(jìn)、轉(zhuǎn)折等關(guān)系的關(guān)聯(lián)詞語，這樣，議論文的結(jié)構(gòu)會(huì)更加嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)，更具說服力和感染力．