閱讀理解
I am terrible oh TV.I don't sit straight and I don't talk clearly.It bothers, because I know inside I am smart, sensitive and sincere.Television can make any fool look like an intellectual, but I come over as dishonest.After a disastrous TV show last year, when I called the interviewer by the wrong name, I was reluctant to do broadcasting again.
Now, I will have my first novel out next month, which is called Do It Again, and the advertising people tell me I must go on TV to promote it.That is why I find myself practising my television interviewing technique with two consultants from Public Image Ltd.
“He blinks(眨眼)a lot, doesn't he?” says Diana, the speech specialist, studying my image on a video monitor.“And his crossed legs look defensive.But the voice isn't bad.” Jeannie, who is introduced to me as Public Image's image consultant, takes a step backwards to study the general posture.“Needs to get his bottom back in the sofa.And the jacket makes him look a bit deformed.Where does he get his clothes from?”
“Honesty is the most important thing,” Says Diana.“We don't want to turn people into actors.We want to bring out their personality.Then most importantly, there are the three E's:Energy, Enthusiasm and Enjoyment.And do try to stop blinking.”
And so our practice interview begins.“So, what can you tell us about your book, Martyn?” “Umm…” A long pause.“Errr…” A longer pause.“Tee hee, hargh…” A foolish giggle.“All right,” says Diana patiently, “We'll try that again.” We try it again, many, many times, each time trying to solve a different problem that I have.On the second run-through, my crossed legs keep moving up and down, which makes me look as if I want to run away(I do, I do).On the third run they are uncrossed, but my hands are clenched on my lap.On the fourth my hands are fiddling with my ears.
But Diana is patient and gives me a lot of advice.She is very good at her job because on the final run-through, after three hours or so, I really don't look too bad.Steady gaze, breathing clear and no blinking.Not perfect but not bad.
I'm bursting with energy, enthusiasm and enjoyment and I'm talking a lot of nonsense, but you'd hardly notice.When you watch people on TV, you'll see a lot more just like me.
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