分析 這是一篇立場選擇型作文寫作.動(dòng)筆前,一定要認(rèn)真閱讀原文,并理解內(nèi)容.認(rèn)真看清題目要求,這篇書面表達(dá)給了一段材料:先要求以約30個(gè)詞概括上文的主要內(nèi)容,要求有很高的概括提煉的能力,要抓住文章的主題,再以約120個(gè)詞寫一篇短文,按照要點(diǎn)去表達(dá),不能有遺漏,寫作時(shí)注意準(zhǔn)確運(yùn)用時(shí)態(tài),上下文意思連貫,符合邏輯關(guān)系.寫作時(shí)盡量使用自己會(huì)的單詞、詞組和句型,同時(shí)也要注意使用一些高級語法和句型,使自己的文章更有文采.范文用了一些高分詞組,并且注重句子的連接,在句型上也是多變.
解答 支持:
1.One university in Zhengzhou designs a program where students must clean the campus every day(高分句型一:定語從句) and relates it to class credits.Some people support the program while others do not.(30詞)
2.Generally,I am in favor of(高分詞組一:支持)the practice.To begin with(連接詞一:首先),through their effort,students provide a clean and comfortable environment,which,as a result,is an assurance of their successful academic life.Moreover(連接詞二:此外),cleaning and labor can not only serve to build students'character but also contribute positively to students developing healthy routines and good sanitation habits(高分詞組二:not only…but also不僅…而且).Last but not least(連接詞三:最后但同樣重要的),by enjoying the fruits of others'labor,students will develop the awareness of(高分詞組三:develop the awareness of 發(fā)展…的意識) gratitude and regard labor as a matter of honor(高分詞組四:regard…as把…當(dāng)作).
In short(連接詞四:總而言之),carrying out the cleaning program is crucial.The significance(高分名詞:significance意義) for students of participating in it means more than academic success.It is part of moral education and benefits students as well as(高分詞組五:as well as也,和) the campus.(120詞)
支持:
第一段縮寫題文.就兩句話,點(diǎn)出主題背景,引出爭論話題,30字一氣呵成.where的成功引導(dǎo)使得大段的文字濃縮在這一精簡的復(fù)合句中.第二段表明自己立場.Generally,I am in favor of the practice.Generally開頭,增色不少.To begin with,through their effort,students provide a clean and comfortable environment,which,as a result,is an assurance of their successful academic life.這一亮點(diǎn)句中,To begin with連詞使用得當(dāng),梳理論述次序,而其后長短句結(jié)合,使得句子讀起來抑揚(yáng)頓挫,夾雜單詞which引導(dǎo)非限制性定語從句以及as a result做插入語成分,一下子使作文上升了一個(gè)檔次.Moreover,進(jìn)而論述.not only…but also…的使用經(jīng)典搭配將繁雜內(nèi)容一次打包.Last but not least,最后一點(diǎn).develop the awareness of gratitude and regard labor as a matter of honor理由確切不牽強(qiáng).第三段總結(jié),In short.其中significance,participating和as well as的使用可圈可點(diǎn).
反對:
1.It is required by one university in Zhengzhou that students should clean the campus every morning to achieve class credits(高分句型一).Opinions on the practice vary widely from person to person.(30詞)
2.I am strongly opposed to(高分詞組一:be strongly opposed to強(qiáng)烈反對) the practice for the following reasons.First of all(連接詞一:首先),cleaning tends to take up(高分詞組二:take up花費(fèi)) too much time,which becomes a distraction for students and discourages them from focusing on their academic performances(高分句型二:非限制性定語從句).Then(連接詞二:然后),students can be encouraged to maintain clean living areas but it's unreasonable to relate the cleaning with the academic credits.As students,they should put more efforts into(高分詞組三:put more efforts into…把更多的精力放在…) their studies to achieve class credits instead of(高分詞組四:instead of代替) sweeping the campus.Furthermore(連接詞三:此外),though someone claims labor can contribute to developing the spirit of hard work,it should by no means(高分句型三) be achieved through daily floor-sweeping.
In conclusion(連接詞四:總之),there is no sense(高分詞組五:there is no sense沒有意義) in students sweeping the campus,for it benefits neither their character nor study.(120詞)
反對:
第一段概括上文的主要內(nèi)容,It is required by…Opinions on the practice vary widely from person to person句子新穎且承上啟下.第二段表明自身立場,strongly opposed強(qiáng)烈反對.First of all首先,思路明確,緊接which引導(dǎo)的非限制性定語從句將.Then接著,進(jìn)而論述.but 和instead of在承接句子間順折關(guān)系時(shí)效果不錯(cuò).As students …設(shè)定從學(xué)生角度出發(fā),說理更合情.Furthermore,再上一層樓.it should by no means 的使用使得句式再添一彩.第三段總結(jié),In conclusion,文末總結(jié).使用there is no sense…語氣感強(qiáng)烈,而neither …nor…便水到渠成地將受益兩者都否定掉.
點(diǎn)評 一般考試觀點(diǎn)論述作文,可以把它想象為中學(xué)語文那句經(jīng)典的"龍頭、鳳尾、豬肚子".首先第一段陳述問題,并且在第一段最后一句話或者第二段第一句話亮出自己的觀點(diǎn),然后第二段給出自己的論點(diǎn),并且舉出具體的例子進(jìn)行支持,最后一段總結(jié)性陳詞即可,這都是很套路的.值得一提的是,在高中英語作文寫作技巧中,總結(jié)性陳詞很重要,平時(shí)也要多注意積累.
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