【題目】假如你是黎明，上高中后，老師制止你們帶智能手機(jī)(smartphone)，理由是有礙學(xué)習(xí)，擔(dān)心你迷戀上網(wǎng)。請(qǐng)你給老師寫一封信，勸說(shuō)他們同意你們上學(xué)帶智能手機(jī)。

注意：1. 信中內(nèi)容包括下面的所有內(nèi)容；

2. 詞數(shù)：100左右，畫線部分不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)；

3. 信的開都和結(jié)尾已經(jīng)給出，但不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)。

事由 ：老師制止你們帶智能手機(jī)，勸說(shuō)他們同意你們?nèi)粘Ｉ钪杏弥悄苁謾C(jī)

原因： 1. 有利于查找資料，下載微課(WeCourse)

2. 瀏覽新聞，了解信息；

3. 作為高中生，我們正在形成自己的判斷能力

Dear teachers,

I ’m writing to persuade you to let us use the smartphone in our daily life .

____________________________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Looking forward to your reply.

Yours,

Li Ming

【答案】

Dear teachers，

I’m writing to persuade you to let us use the smartphone in our daily life. We know you’re afraid that we may be addicted to phone games, which will affect our study. Actually, every coin has its two sides. We still think that using the smartphone can bring us much more advantages.

First of all, I think it would be better if we can use the smartphone because not only can we go through a wide range of learning resources on the Internet but also we can download the WeCourses provided by our school. Furthermore, we can broaden our horizons by reading various news online. Last but not least, as high school students, we are building up our sense of judgment. Given chances, we are sure that we will learn how to use the smart phone effectively.

I do hope you can take my suggestion into consideration and make a final decision. Looking forward to your reply.

Yours,

Li Ming

【解析】

試題分析：本次作文要求黎明給老師寫一封信，勸說(shuō)他們同意學(xué)生上學(xué)帶智能手機(jī)。要點(diǎn)包括：1.有利于查找資料，下載微課；2.瀏覽新聞，了解信息；3.作為高中生，我們正在形成自己的判斷能力。故既要完成任務(wù)，又要兼顧形式的要求。

寫作亮點(diǎn)：本篇條理清楚，要點(diǎn)全面，結(jié)構(gòu)連貫。其句式上的變化既使得文章生動(dòng)而流暢，也體現(xiàn)了作者駕馭句式的能力。例如：文章運(yùn)用了賓語(yǔ)從句that we may be addicted to phone games.that using the smartphone can bring us much more advantages.和that we will learn how to use the smart phone effectively.定語(yǔ)從句which will affect our study. build up, effectively, broaden our horizons take my suggestion into consideration, make a final decision , looking forward to等詞匯及first of all, furthermore, last but not least等連接詞。

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