【題目】假如你是李華，在“國際青年服務(wù)日”（Global Youth Service Day ）與同學(xué)去老年之家（nursing home）幫忙。請給網(wǎng)友寫封郵件，簡述此次活動，內(nèi)容包括：

1. 時(shí)間，地點(diǎn) 2. 活動過程 3. 你的感受

注意 ：1.詞數(shù)100 2.可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫

Dear Tom ,

The annual “Global Youth Service Day” is aimed at cultivating young people’s love of service .___________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________.

Looking forward to your reply .

Yours ,

Li Hua

【答案】Dear Tom ,

The annual “Global Service Day l Youth”is aimed at cultivating young people’s love of service. On that day My classmates and I went to the nearby nursing home and had a meaningful experience there.

Upon arrival, we had a free talk with the elderly residents. Telling them our anecdotes and listening to theirs . At noon, we had a buffet lunch together in the cafeteria. While enjoying the meal, some talented students gave a wonderful folk dancing performance, making the elderly laugh and clap excitedly. After the meal, we hugged each other and said goodbye.

We appreciated participating in this activity, which has helped to build an emotional connection between the old and the young. In fact , if everyone could contribute a little , our community would definitely have a brighter future！

Looking forward to your reply .

Yours

Li Hua

【解析】本文為材料作文。高考中提綱式作文非常常見，寫提綱式作文要注意以下幾點(diǎn)。

　 1.審題。要弄清題意，確定文章的中心思想、主題，并圍繞中心思想組織材料。

2.進(jìn)行構(gòu)思，列出簡單的提綱，安排好層次段落，鋪設(shè)好過渡，處理好開頭和結(jié)尾。

3.擴(kuò)展成文。擴(kuò)展成文時(shí)還需注意以下幾點(diǎn)：確保提綱中段落結(jié)構(gòu)的思路與各段主題句的一致性；靈活運(yùn)用各種句式；注意使用高級框架結(jié)構(gòu)的句子；用好連接詞，注意段落間、句子間的連貫性。

亮點(diǎn)分析：本文內(nèi)容完整，層次分明，思路清晰，文字連貫，前后表達(dá)渾然一體。句式靈活多變，有省略句、主從復(fù)合句、分詞短語、介詞短語等，讓文章的結(jié)構(gòu)錯落有致，從而增加文章的可讀性。文中運(yùn)用了一些較高級的詞匯如be aimed at；Upon arrival, have a free talk with， at noon；enjoy doing sth，給文章增色不少。文中所用的句式有：

非謂語作狀語：Telling them our anecdotes and listening to theirs

省略句：While enjoying the meal, some talented students gave a wonderful folk dancing performance, making the elderly laugh and clap excitedly.

定語從句：…, which has helped to build an emotional connection between the old and the young

狀語從句： if everyone could contribute a little , our community would definitely have a brighter future

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