We’re always being sent contributions（稿件） for our popular laughter, The Best Medicine Section. Some of the jokes are obvious winners. Some of the jokes are ancient,  which are unfit for public consumption or just don’t make the grade（符合要求）. And then there are the rest: the jokes that get our editor scratching his chin and wondering, “Is this one good enough to print? ” Now you can help him choose. We’ve picked five jokes from the “Maybe” pile. Vote for the one you think is the best. The top-rated joke as of July 20, 2012 will be published in the magazine—and net its author $150.

(1)

A boy goes to a bookshop with his birthday money and chooses a book titled Advice to Young Mothers. “Why would you want this book? ” the assistant asks him.

“Because I collect moths（飛蛾）. ” the boy explains.

Derek Blew, Lane Cove, NSW

(2)

Father: “So you want to be my son-in-law? ”

Young man: “Actually I don’t, but I want to marry your daughter and I don’t see how I can avoid it. ”

Kimberley McEwan, southland, NZ

(3)

How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb（燈泡）?

None. They only promised they would do it.

Lisa Bluthal, Umina Beach, NSW

(4)

A couple of country boys driving a semitrailer（半拖車） down the highway come to a bridge with a sign saying: “Clearance 3. 1 metres. ” They stop, take out a tape measure and find the truck is 3. 5 metres high. “I don’t see any police around, ” one says. “Let’s go for it. ”

Loretta Fonseca, Otago, NZ

(5)

There are only two people who really know how to run this country. Sadly, one is cutting hair and the other is driving a taxi.

James White, Belmont, NSW

Click here for Poll Archives（投票檔案）.

71. The writer’s purpose in writing the passage is to________ .

A. ask readers to judge which joke is the best

B. provide readers with some jokes for entertainment

C. collect contributions for a magazine

D. show us laughter is the best medicine

72. What do the underlined words (in the first paragraph) mean?

A. Jokes which are obvious winners.

B. Jokes which don’t make the grade.

C. Laughter and The Best Medicine Section.

D. Jokes that the editor isn’t sure of printing.

73. We can learn from the first joke that________ .

A. the book is very popular with readers

B. the assistant is very embarrassed

C. the boy misunderstands the title of the book

D. the boy wants to buy the book for his mother

74. What can we infer from the jokes?

A. The young man doesn’t want to marry the girl. (Joke 2)

B. Politicians seldom keep their promises. (Joke 3)

C. The boys often break traffic rules. (Joke 4)

D. People in that country live a happy life. (Joke 5)

75. The passage can most probably be found________ .

A. on the Internet                                                    B. in a newspaper

C. in a story book                                                    D. in a magazine

At the bottom of the world lies a mighty continent still wrapped in the Ice Age and, until recent times, unknown to man. It is a great landmass with mountain ranges whose extent and elevation are still uncertain. Much of the continent is a complete blank on our maps. Man has explored, on foot, less than one percent of its area.

Antarctica differs fundamentally from the Arctic regions. The Arctic is an ocean, covered with drifting packed ice and hemmed in by the landmasses of Europe, Asia, and North America. The Antarctica is a continent almost as large as Europe and Australia combined, centered roughly on the South Pole and surrounded by the most unobstructed water areas of the world—the Atlantic, Pacific, and Indian Oceans.

The continental ice sheet is more than two miles high in its center; thus, the air over the Antarctica is far more iced than it is over the Arctic regions. This cold air current from the land is so forceful that it makes the nearby seas the stormiest in the world and makes unlivable those regions whose counterparts (配對(duì)物) at the opposite end of the globe are livable. Thus, more than a million persons live within 2, 000 miles of the North Pole in an area that includes most of Alaska, Siberia, and Scandinavia—a region rich in forest and mining industries. Apart from a handful of weather stations, within the same distance of the South Pole there is not a single tree, industry or settlement.

66. The best title for this passage would be________ .

A. Iceland

B. Land of Opportunity

C. Utopia at Last

D. The Unknown Continent

67. At the time this article was written, our knowledge about Antarctica was______.

A. very limited                                                 B. vast

C. fairly rich                                                    D. non-existent

68. What’s the fundamental difference between Antarctica and the Arctic?

A. The Arctic is an ocean while Antarctica is a continent.

B. The Arctic is inhabited by people while Antarctica is uninhabitable.

C. The Arctic is covered with ice while Antarctica is surrounded by water.

D. The Arctic is surrounded by continents while Antarctica is bordered by oceans.

69. The Antarctica is made uninhabitable primarily by________.

A. ice                                                                     B. calm seas

C. cold air                                                              D. lack of water

70. According to this article,________ .

A. 2, 000 people live on the Antarctica Continent

B. a million people live within 2, 000 miles of the South Pole

C. weather conditions make settlements impractical

D. only a handful of natives inhabit Antarctica

I stood outside New York’s Madison Square Garden and just stared, almost speechless. I was a farm boy from County Kilkenny, a child who some thought would never walk, let alone go as far as I had in the world.

From the day I was born, there was a problem. The doctors at the Dublin hospital told my parents I had phocomelia, a deformity that affected both legs below the knees, which were outward and shorter than normal and each foot had just three toes.

Life was tough. I couldn’t stand, much less walk. I rarely left the farmhouse-and then only in someone’s arms. Mom bundled me up whenever she took me to town, no matter the season.

“The world will see him when he can walk, ” she told Dad. “And he will walk. ”

Mom devoted herself to helping me. She tried everything to get me on my feet. When I was three, she and Dad took me to a clinic in Dublin.

A few weeks later we returned to Dublin with my artificial limbs (假肢). Back home I practiced walking with my new limbs.

“There’s nothing anyone can do but you can’t, ” Mom said. “You and I are going to walk through town. ”

The next day Mom dressed me in my finest clothes. She wore a summer dress and fixed her hair and makeup. Dad drove us to the church. We stepped out of the car. Mom took my hand. “Hold your head up high, now, Ronan. ” she said.

We walked 300 meters to the post office. It was the farthest I’d walked, and I was sweating from the effort. Then we left the post office and continued down the street, Mom’s eyes shining with a mother’s pride.

That night, back on our farm, I lay exhaustedly on my bed. It meant nothing, though, compared to what I’d done on my walk.

Then I began to pursue my dream of singing. And at every step Mom’s words came back to me-Ronan, you can do anything anyone else can do-and the faith she had in God, who would help me do it.

I’ve sung from the grandest stages in Europe, to music played by the world’s finest musicians. That night, I stood at the Madison Square Garden, with Mom’s words chiming in my ears, the same place where Mom’s promise lived. Then I began singing. I couldn’t feel the pulse of the music in my feet, but I felt it deep in my ears.

61. What was the problem with the author as a baby?

A. He was expected unable to walk.

B. He was born outward in character.

C. He had a problem with listening.

D. He was shorter than a normal baby.

62. The underlined word “deformity” in the second paragraph most probably means________ .

A. shortcoming                                                B. disadvantage

C. disability                                                      D. delay

63. Why did Mom dress him and herself?

A. To hide their depressed feeling.

B. To indicate it an unusual day.

C. To show off their clothes.

D. To celebrate his successful operation.

64. From the story we may conclude that his mother was________ .

A. determined                                                  B. stubborn

C. generous                                                     D. distinguished

65. According to the writer, what mattered most in his success? 

A. His consistent effort.

B. His talent for music.

C. His countless failures.

D. His mother’s promise.

Antarctic seabirds are breeding（繁殖）later, because thinner sea ice is causing their food supplies to decline, a new study says. The birds, which nest in East Antarctica, have delayed their spring arrival by an average of nine days and egg-laying by an average of two days over the past 50 years, according to polar researchers from the French National Center for Scientific Research in Villiers en Bois, France, study authors Christophe Barbrand and Henri Weimerskirch attribute this later breeding activity to decreases in sea ice caused by climate change.

The researchers say the disappearing sea ice, combined with a longer sea-ice season, has interfered with the birds’ breeding cycle by reducing the amount of krill（磷蝦） and other prey（獵物）available in early spring in Antarctica. Because Antarctica’s seasons are opposite those in the Northern Hemisphere, spring on the icy continent begins in October.

The study is based on data collected at seabird colonies between 1950 and 2004 in Adélie Land, on the eastern edge of the frozen continent.

The findings were published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Of the nine species studied, some arrived up to 30 days later than they had in previous years.

Despite much later arrivals, the birds are laying their eggs at pretty much the same time as they had in the past. In the most extreme cases, birds were laying their eggs an average of 3. 7 days later in the season than they were 50 years ago.

56. What is the passage mainly about?

A. Seabirds are breeding later in East Antarctica.

B. The amount of krill in the ocean has decreased.

C. The weather in Antarctica has changed.

D. The spring in Antarctica is beginning later.

57. Why have the seabirds in East Antarctica delayed their breeding?

A. The food there has been polluted.

B. The sea ice doesn’t shrink any more.

C. The food supplies there have declined.

D. There are too many seabirds there.

58. In which of the following months is it autumn in Antarctica?

A. October.                                                     B. September.

C. November.                                                  D. June.

59. How many kinds of seabirds were studied by the researchers?

A. Two.                B. Five.                             C. Nine.                       D. Thirty.

60. What does the underlined word “attribute”in Para. 1 mean?

A. contribute                                                    B. cause

C. owe                                                                   D. devote

Several years ago, while attending a communication course, I experienced a most unusual process. The instructor asked us to list 　36 in our past that we felt 　 37　 of, regretted, or incomplete about and read our lists aloud.

This seemed like a very 38 process, but there’re always some 39 souls in the crowd who will volunteer. The instructor then 40 that we find ways to 41 people, or take some actions to right any wrong doings. I was seriously wondering how this could ever 42 my communication.

Then the man next to me raised his hand and volunteered this story: “Making my 43 , I remembered an incident from high school. I grew up in a small town. There was a Sheriff 44 of us kids liked. One night, my two buddies and I decided to play a 45 on him.

After drinking a few beers, we climbed the tall water tank in the middle of the town, and wrote on the tank in bright red paint: Sheriff Brown is a s. o. b. (畜生). The next day, almost the whole town saw our glorious 46 . Within two hours, Sheriff Brown had us in his office. My friends told the truth but I lied. No one 47 found out. ”

Nearly 20 years later, Sheriff Brown’s name 48 on my list. I didn’t even know if he was still 49 . Last weekend, I dialed the information in my hometown and found there was a Roger Brown still listed. I tried his number. After a few 50 , I heard, “Hello? ” I said, “Sheriff Brown? ” Paused. “Yes. ”“Well, this is Jimmy Calkins. ”

“And I want you to know that I did it. ”Paused. “I knew it! ” he yelled back. We had a good laugh and a 51 discussion. His closing words were，“Jimmy, I always felt bad for you 52 your buddies got it off their chest, but you were carrying it 53 all these years. I want to thank you for calling me. . . for your sake. ”

Jimmy inspired me to 54 all 101 items on my list within two years, and I always remember what I learned from the course: It’s never too late to 55 the past wrongdoings.

36. A. something　　　　 B. anything　　 C. somebody　　　　　　 D. anybody

37. A. ashamed　　　　　B. afraid　　　　　C. sure　　　　　　　　　　　D. proud

38. A. private　　　　　　B. secret　　　　　C. interesting　　　　　　 D. funny

39. A. foolish　　　　　 B. polite　　　　　　C. simple　　　　　　　　　D. brave

40. A. expected　　　 B. suggested　　 C. ordered　　　　　　　 D. demanded

41. A. connect with　 B. depend on C. make an apology to　　 D. get along with

42. A. improve　　　　　B. continue　　　C. realize　　　　　　　　 D. keep

43. A. notes　　　　　　 B. list　　　　　　 C. plan　　　　　　　　　　 D. stories

44. A. any　　　　　　　　B. most　　　　　 C. none　　　　　　　　　　D. all

45. A. part　　　　　　　 B. game　　　　　 C. trick　　　　　　　　　 D. record

46. A. view　　　　　　　B. sign　　　　　　 C. attention　　　　　　 D. remark

47. A. also　　　　　　　 B. even　　　　　 C. still　　　　　　　　　　 D. ever

48. A. appears　　　　 B. considers　　 C. presents　　　　　　 D. remembers

49. A. angry　　　　　　 B. happy　　　　 C. doubtful　　　　　　 D. alive

50. A. words　　　　　 B. rings　　　　　　 C. repeats　　　　　　　D. calls

51. A. cold　　　　　　　B. plain　　　　　　 C. nervous　　　　　　　D. lively

52. A. in case　　　　　B. so long as　　 C. unless　　　　　　　　 D. because

53. A. around　　　　　B. out　　　　　　　 C. on　　　　　　　　　　　D. away

54. A. build up　　　 B. make up　　　 C. clear up　　　　　 　D. give up

55. A. regret　　　　　 B. forgive　　　　　C. right　　　　　　　　　 D. punish

 I______ping-pong quite well, but I haven’t had time to play since the New Year.

A. will play                                                      B. have played

C. played                                                         D. play

 There is no doubt______she will be able to repay the money on time.

A. that                          B. which                      C. whether                          D. why

 When he came to himself, he found himself______on a chair, with his hands  ______back.

A. to sit; tying                                                  B. sitting; tying

C. seating; tied                                                 D. seated; tied

—Why? Tom, your shirt is so dirty!

—Mum, I______my storeroom downstairs.

A. cleaned　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　B. have cleaned

C. was cleaning　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 D. have been cleaning

 I was telling them about my exciting travels when he______with a story of his own.

A. broke down                                                        B. broke out

C. broke in                                                             D. broke up