分析 本文是一篇書信類的作文題目,主要講述了李華關(guān)于現(xiàn)在中學(xué)生對于ipad的使用情況的一份講述信.寫作文前首先要抓住作文的大意,如本篇作文的中心就是針對中學(xué)生對于ipad的使用情況進(jìn)行論述;其次就是根據(jù)題目中給出的要點(diǎn),建立自己文章的大綱,如本篇文章主要分成以下幾個部分;第一部分簡單的介紹自己以及講述了ipad的好處,第二部分講述了某些同學(xué)不一樣的看法,第三部分講述了自己的觀點(diǎn),最后一部分就是自己提出的一些建議.文章的脈絡(luò)清晰,并且按照題目所給的要求已經(jīng)進(jìn)行分點(diǎn)闡述,用詞簡單新穎,句型結(jié)構(gòu)完整,值得學(xué)生加以借鑒.
【亮點(diǎn)說明】本文要點(diǎn)齊全、行文連貫.運(yùn)用了一些非常好的短語和句子為文章增色不少,如 behelpful to,make good use of,academic success,in a proper way;并注意了句子之間的銜接如Apparently;however;In my opinion;therefore;Furthermore
Using an iPad,we can listen to music,download a lot of learning materials and read them on the screen.(高分句型)
Some students,however,bring their iPads to the classroom and listen to music without earphones,which makes the teacher and other students greatly annoyed.(高分句型)
Furthermore,the school should make a rule to guide the students to use iPads in a proper way.(高分句型)
解答 Dear Editor',
I'm a senior high school student named Li Hua.Now many students have iPads and think it's a fashion to use them.Using an iPad,we can listen to music,download a lot of learning materials and read them on the screen.(高分句型)Apparently,it's helpful to our study,especially to our English listening.(對學(xué)習(xí)的好處)
Some students,however,bring their iPads to the classroom and listen to music without earphones,which makes the teacher and other students greatly annoyed.(高分句型)Some of them even waste precious time in class playing video games.(對學(xué)習(xí)的弊端)
In my opinion,as students,we should make good use of iPads to help achieve academic success.The classroom is a place for students to study,and therefore
concentration is awfully needed for us to learn our lessons.Furthermore,the school should make a rule to guide the students to use iPads in a proper way.(高分句型)(自己的觀點(diǎn))
Yours sincerely,
Li Hua
點(diǎn)評 應(yīng)該注意適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)以使行文連貫,比如適當(dāng)選用表示因果、遞進(jìn)、轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系的連接詞,使文章流暢、通順,并避免因反復(fù)使用句式相同的簡單句而造成的單調(diào)感.(1)認(rèn)真審題,確定體裁.本文是議論文. (2)構(gòu)思要點(diǎn).根據(jù)題目要求,理解要表達(dá)的要點(diǎn).設(shè)計好文章的層次段落,考慮所用時態(tài)、人稱等,把要點(diǎn)串聯(lián)起來,構(gòu)成文章框架.(3)選詞造句,避難選易.(4)認(rèn)真檢查,避免錯誤.仔細(xì)閱讀全文,查找是否有錯,注意時態(tài)、單詞拼寫、字母大小寫、標(biāo)點(diǎn)是否有誤,句式是否正確.邏輯是否一致.
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