Question

【題目】假設你是紅星中學高三學生李華。請根據(jù)以下四幅圖的先后順序，以“Concert at the Balcony” 為題，用英語寫一篇短文向�？�“英語園地”投稿，記述上周末發(fā)生在你們小區(qū)的一個真實故事。

注意：詞數(shù)不少于60。

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Answer 1

【答案】Possible version 1:

Last weekend, an unexpected concert at the balcony made my day.

On Sunday afternoon, when I was taking a break from my schoolwork, a clear melody flowed in from the outside. It magically refreshed my tired mind and aroused my curiosity.

Hoping to find its source, I went to the balcony. A young man was playing his violin on the balcony across from mine, his eyes half closed in full enjoyment of the tune. Amazed by his playing, I listened on and was absorbed.

Unexpectedly, to the melody of the violin was added a wonderful chord of guitar from another neighbor. At this scene, I couldn’t help singing along and was surprised when a girl also joined with her pure voice of a child. We hardly knew one another, but in our perfect harmony, we felt like old friends connected by our shared love of music. Our little concert went on and on, fascinating the whole community.

With a closing chord on the guitar, the concert ended. We smiled and waved to each other as if we had just woken up from a sweet dream of music. Our shared memory of the concert at the balcony would not fade away, from which I felt the power of music to inspire and connect people. (213 words)

Possible version 2:

Last weekend, a special concert took place in my neighborhood. The uplifting music and heartwarming neighborliness kept resonating in my mind.

Last Saturday afternoon, I was bored at home doing homework when a piece of beautiful music flowed into my room and refreshed me immediately. Since the outbreak of the virus, everything has gone virtual, so I hurried to my balcony to check it out.

The melody led me to locate the violinist in seconds: a teenage boy playing My Motherland and I on his balcony. Although it was not perfect, the organic sound of the violin and his deep affection stunned me. I was lost in his music. Before I realized it, a guitar joined! The guitar from a young lady downstairs gave the music a more lively tone. I couldn’t help humming the familiar tune when I suddenly heard someone singing clearly and cheerfully. There was another girl volunteering as the vocalist of this mini band! Inspired by all of them, I started singing loudly. The four of us staged a live balcony concert as if on a stage with audience!

When the concert came to an end, we applauded each other’s wonderful performance and waved at each other enthusiastically. “Take care!” “Looking forward to the next performance!” were echoing in the community.

As the whole nation and even the whole world were struggling to get used to life with restrictions while fighting against the virus, lots of fabulous ideas were produced to boost people’s morale. This heartening balcony concert in my neighborhood truly entertained me and rallied the optimistic spirit. (263)

【解析】

這是一篇記敘文，要求學生根據(jù)圖片敘述上周末發(fā)生在小區(qū)的一個真實故事。

第一步：審題

體裁：應用文

時態(tài)：根據(jù)提示，時態(tài)應為一般過去時。

結(jié)構(gòu)：總分法

總分法指把主題句作為總說，把經(jīng)過作為分說，并以這種方式安排所寫內(nèi)容。

要求：1. 表明主旨：上周在陽臺上的音樂會。

2. 具體經(jīng)過

1）是誰

2）在哪里

3) 發(fā)生了什么

4) 結(jié)果如何

第二步:列提綱 （重點詞組）

take a break from；refresh one’s mind；arouse one’s curiosity；be amazed by；at this scene； couldn’t help doing；each other；as if；fade away

第三步：連詞成句

1. Last weekend, an unexpected concert at the balcony made my day.

2. On Sunday afternoon, when I was taking a break from my schoolwork, a clear melody flowed in from the outside.

3. It magically refreshed my tired mind and aroused my curiosity.

4. Hoping to find its source, I went to the balcony.

5. A young man was playing his violin on the balcony across from mine, his eyes half closed in full enjoyment of the tune.

6. Amazed by his playing, I listened on and was absorbed.

7. Unexpectedly, to the melody of the violin was added a wonderful chord of guitar from another neighbor.

8. At this scene, I couldn’t help singing along and was surprised when a girl also joined with her pure voice of a child.

9. We hardly knew one another, but in our perfect harmony, we felt like old friends connected by our shared love of music.

10. Our little concert went on and on, fascinating the whole community.

11. With a closing chord on the guitar, the concert ended.

12. We smiled and waved to each other as if we had just woken up from a sweet dream of music. 13. Our shared memory of the concert at the balcony would not fade away, from which I felt the power of music to inspire and connect people.

根據(jù)提示及關(guān)鍵詞（組）進行遣詞造句，注意主謂一致和時態(tài)問題。

第四步：連句成篇（銜接詞）

1.表文章結(jié)構(gòu)順序：First of all, Firstly/First, Secondly/Second… And then, Finally, In the end, At last

2.表并列補充關(guān)系：What is more, Besides, Moreover, Furthermore, In addition As well as, not only…but (also), including,

3.表轉(zhuǎn)折對比關(guān)系：However, On the contrary, but, Although+clause(從句), In spite of+n/doing,On the one hand…,On the other hand… Some…,while others…,as for, so…that…

4.表因果關(guān)系：Because, As, So, Thus, Therefore, As a result

連句成文，注意使用恰當?shù)倪B詞進行句子之間的銜接與過渡，書寫一定要規(guī)范清晰，

第五步：潤色修改