Date of visiting the computer room:on Saturday,June 18 Problems with the computers: ●old and slow,sometimes do not work ●not connected to the Internet ●Keyboards have letters missing,mouses and monitors are not functioning well Other problems:The lighting in the computer room is poor and the air is not fresh.Suggestions:update the computers and other equipment; improve the environment |
分析 本篇書面表達屬于提綱類作文,根據(jù)提示信息假設(shè)你是李華,上星期發(fā)現(xiàn)學(xué)校的電腦室存在一些問題.請根據(jù)表格中記錄的要點,給校長寫一封建議信,寫作時注意以下幾點:1、仔細閱讀有關(guān)提示,弄清試題提供的所有信息 2、提綱是文章的總體框架,要在提綱的范圍內(nèi)進行分析、構(gòu)思和想象.要依據(jù)提示情景或詞語,按照一定邏輯關(guān)系來寫.本文寫作時可以按照要點所給的順序?qū)懀?、根據(jù)要表達的內(nèi)容確定句子的時態(tài)、語態(tài).4.注意使用高級詞匯和句式,以增加文章的亮點.
【亮點說明】本文結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊,層次分明,而且使用了多種表達:do my homework做作業(yè);What's more而且;Still仍舊;as well as也,還;Look forward to盼望;
解答 Dear Sir/Madame,
I'm writing to you to express my experience in the computer room.I visited the computer room on Saturday,June 18 to do my homework,but I experienced some problems.(高分句型一) The computers are old and slow,and some even don't work.A lot of keyboards have letters missing,and some mouses and monitors are not functioning well!What's more,the computers can not always be connected to the Internet.(高分句型二) Still,I found the lighting in the computer room is poor and the air is not fresh.
It is important to learn how to use the information technology,so our school really needs to update the computers and other equipment as well as improve the environment.(高分句型三)
Looking forward to that day!
Yours,
Li Hua
點評 英語寫作是一項主觀性較強的測試題.它不僅考查學(xué)生的寫作基礎(chǔ)而且還考查學(xué)生在寫作過程中綜合運用語言的能力.在撰寫時要注意主謂語一致,時態(tài)呼應(yīng),用詞貼切等.要提高英語寫作水平,需要兩方面的訓(xùn)練:一是語言基礎(chǔ)方面的訓(xùn)練,要有扎實的造句、翻譯等基本功,即用詞法、句法等知識造出正確無誤的句子;二是寫作知識和能力 方面的訓(xùn)練以掌握寫作方面的基本方法和技巧.
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