Question

16．現(xiàn)在社會(huì)上很多父母對(duì)于孩子過(guò)多呵護(hù)，這對(duì)孩子的健康成長(zhǎng)造成了影響．假設(shè)你是李華，針對(duì)這一現(xiàn)象給你校�？瘜�(xiě)一封信，談?wù)勀銓?duì)這一現(xiàn)象的看法．
寫(xiě)作要點(diǎn)：
1、非常感謝父母的關(guān)愛(ài)．
2、與父母交流自己真實(shí)感受：自己已經(jīng)長(zhǎng)大，能處理自己事情．
3、相信彼此理解會(huì)讓父母更加理智地愛(ài)我！
字?jǐn)?shù)：120字左右
Dear editor，
As is known，all parents love their children．                                   
Yours，
Li Hua．

Answer 1

分析 英語(yǔ)提綱式作文為考生提供了題目與一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的寫(xiě)作提綱，將考生的寫(xiě)作控制在一定范疇．它要求考生緊扣題目主題，并根據(jù)提綱提示的思路和要點(diǎn)展開(kāi)段落．這實(shí)際上是對(duì)考生思路和文章寫(xiě)作范圍所作的明確限定．因此，提綱中所列舉的要點(diǎn)要全部涉及到，一個(gè)也不能遺漏．同時(shí)，為了提高文章檔次，考生應(yīng)在保證內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)齊全的同時(shí)進(jìn)行合理而又緊扣主題的發(fā)揮．因此，該類型的書(shū)面表達(dá)具有一定的靈活性，能較好地體現(xiàn)考生的英語(yǔ)思維能力．考生還需要注意句子間的正確聯(lián)系，注意詞語(yǔ)的豐富和句型的多樣．【亮點(diǎn)說(shuō)明】本篇習(xí)作第一段就點(diǎn)明第一個(gè)要點(diǎn)，對(duì)父母的愛(ài)充滿感激，直奔主題．第二段開(kāi)始用了一個(gè)however，直接把筆鋒一轉(zhuǎn)，說(shuō)明父母盲目的愛(ài)已經(jīng)對(duì)我有所困擾．同時(shí)，使用這么一句話At this time instead of refusing their help rudely，I'd like to talk with them openly and politely．表明自己目前的真實(shí)感受．最后，I believe my parents will finally understand me．表明作者對(duì)父母的愛(ài)、信任和期待．

解答 Dear Editor，
As is known，all the parents love their children．So it is with my parents．I really feel lucky that I have such kind parents．And I deeply appreciate their love for me．
However，I have to admit sometimes they show me so much love that I feel uneasy with them．（高分句型）I think I am old enough to handle my personal affairs．At this time instead of refusing their help rudely，I'd like to talk with them openly and politely．（高分句型）I will tell them I am old enough to deal with some of my own matters on my own．I'll let them know what I need is their belief in me and their support．（高分句型）I believe my parents will finally understand me．
Yours sincerely，
Li Hua

點(diǎn)評(píng) 應(yīng)該注意適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)以使行文連貫，比如適當(dāng)選用表示因果、遞進(jìn)、轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系的連接詞，使文章流暢、通順，并避免因反復(fù)使用句式相同的簡(jiǎn)單句而造成的單調(diào)感．（1）認(rèn)真審題，確定體裁． （2）構(gòu)思要點(diǎn)．根據(jù)題目要求，理解要表達(dá)的要點(diǎn)．設(shè)計(jì)好文章的層次段落，考慮所用時(shí)態(tài)、人稱等，把要點(diǎn)串聯(lián)起來(lái)，構(gòu)成文章框架．（3）選詞造句，避難選易．（4）認(rèn)真檢查，避免錯(cuò)誤．仔細(xì)閱讀全文，查找是否有錯(cuò)，注意時(shí)態(tài)、單詞拼寫(xiě)、字母大小寫(xiě)、標(biāo)點(diǎn)是否有誤，句式是否正確．邏輯是否一致．